Why We Need to Stop Saying “Breast is Best”
“My firstborn was born at just 30 weeks, and I was told that breast milk would be the best for him. But despite trying, my body just couldn't produce enough, and as a first-time mum with a baby in the NICU, I felt like I was failing. Choosing formula was the only option, I felt overwhelmed by guilt and the unspoken pressure from those around me, including some well-meaning hospital staff. But it was what he needed, and he grew into a strong, healthy 9-year-old who was rarely ever sick growing up. That journey taught me that fed is best, and no mother should feel guilty for doing what’s right for her baby, in any situation.”
Why We Need to Stop Saying “Breast is Best”
“Breast is best.” We’ve all heard it. For years, it’s been the mantra in maternal and child health campaigns, breastfeeding support groups, and even government health policies. On paper, it makes sense, breastmilk offers unparalleled nutritional benefits for babies. But in reality, this slogan has done something harmful: it has placed the weight of an entire ideal on mothers’ shoulders, leaving little room for nuance, compassion, or reality.
Because the truth is this: sometimes, breast is not always best.
The Silent Struggle No One Talks About
Not every woman can breastfeed. Some don’t produce enough milk. Some experience excruciating pain, recurrent infections, or complications from birth. Others have medical conditions that make breastfeeding unsafe or impossible.
And then there are mothers who are mentally exhausted, on the verge of breaking. Postpartum depression and anxiety are real, and breastfeeding can worsen those struggles for some women. Yet, in a world obsessed with the idea that breastfeeding is the only acceptable choice, these women often suffer in silence, feeling like failures for not meeting society’s expectations.
This isn’t just about feeding, it’s about the crushing weight of guilt, stigma, and judgment that mothers carry when they can’t or choose not to breastfeed.
The Cost of One-Size-Fits-All Messaging
When we say “breast is best,” what mothers hear is: If you don’t do this, you’re not a good mom. That single message ignores the complexities of women’s lives, returning to work with no lactation facilities, juggling multiple roles, dealing with health conditions, or simply trying to stay afloat mentally and emotionally.
And it hurts more than feelings. That guilt can spiral into postpartum depression, delay bonding, and even prevent women from seeking help.
Formula is Not a Failure
Here’s what we need to start saying: Formula feeding is not a failure. It is a safe, scientifically designed alternative that has saved countless babies. It allows mothers to share feeding responsibilities, rest, and recover. It can be the difference between a mother surviving postpartum or drowning in mental distress.
No, formula isn’t breastmilk. But feeding your baby with love, presence, and care, whether from breast or bottle, is what truly matters.
It’s Time for a New Narrative
We need to retire slogans like “Breast is best.” They are outdated, shaming, and harmful. Instead, our messaging should reflect reality and empathy:
“Fed is best.”
“What’s best is what works for you and your baby.”
We need healthcare providers, media, and policymakers to champion choice and support, not pressure and guilt. Let’s stop treating mothers like monoliths and start giving them what they really need, accurate information, access to options, and permission to choose without judgment.
Because being a good mother is not about how you feed your baby. It’s about love, care, and showing up, even when the world tells you you’re not enough.
To every mother who feels like she’s failing because she can’t breastfeed: you’re not failing. You’re feeding your baby, you’re surviving, you’re doing the hardest job in the world. That’s not “less than.” That’s enough.
The writer is a mother of two who cherishes her children and balances family life with her work in special needs education
