So… Is This Perimenopause?

I didn’t wake up one day thinking, “Ah yes, perimenopause has arrived.” It was subtle — sneaky, even. A delayed period here. An anxious night there. The occasional cry over absolutely nothing. And slowly, I stopped feeling like myself.

So What Is Perimenopause, Anyway?

Oxford defines it as “the period of a woman’s life shortly before the occurrence of the menopause” ¹. Honestly? That’s deceiving.

“Shortly” is highly subjective. Perimenopause can last anywhere from 3 to 10 years² — and IMHO, that’s not “short.” It’s a long time to feel out of whack, especially during one of the most demanding seasons of our lives. The truth is perimenopause is the transition to menopause. And menopause itself is defined as 12 months after your last menstrual period. Everything before that? That’s perimenopause.

Since the average age of menopause is 51 (a bit earlier for Southeast Asian women), and the normal range is 45–55, perimenopause can start as early as your mid-30s³. And yes — you can still be fertile, but your hormones are on a rollercoaster ride from this point on.

The First Signs to Watch For

There are a few hallmark signs that scream perimenopause — like hot flushes and night sweats. Why? Because these vasomotor symptoms are almost always menopause-related. Hot flushes feel like a sudden wave of heat, usually rising from your chest, while night sweats often wake you up drenched.

Another sign is irregular periods — maybe they’re heavier, lighter, longer, shorter, or MIA altogether. But this can get confusing, especially if you’ve got underlying conditions like endometriosis or fibroids. And then there are the other symptoms — more than 40 have been documented⁴, from brain fog and fatigue to anxiety, skin changes, and yes, locked jaw (ask me how I know). You can see the full list here 

How to Talk to Your Healthcare Provider

First, figure out who that provider is. A supportive OBGYN is a great starting point — but supportive means someone who actually listens, doesn’t dismiss your concerns, and is open to talking about menopause hormone therapy, even if you don’t end up choosing it.

Alternatively, functional medicine doctors are trained in hormone health and can prescribe BHRT (bioidentical hormone replacement therapy). The most important thing is finding someone who’s educated in menopause care. Don’t be afraid to ask questions — or get a second opinion.

Bring your symptom tracker. It helps to give structure to what you’re experiencing. Here’s a menopause symptom tracker that you can use.

What You Need to Know

You’re not going crazy. You’re not broken. And you’re not alone.

I want to gently remind you — this isn’t the end. In fact, it’s the beginning of your next chapter which you can define for yourself. Perimenopause is just the transition to get you there.

If you’re looking for a safe space to ask questions, swap stories, or just feel a little less alone, come join us in the Menopause Asia Tribe — our private Facebook community filled with women going through the same thing.

And if you’re ready to take that next step, Menopause Asia is here to help you connect with the right information, supportive doctors, and tools you need to take charge of your journey. Join the waitlist and get your free Asian Menopause Toolkit — an e-book packed with culturally relevant insights to help you feel more informed, supported, and in control.

Because no woman should have to figure this out alone.