Why Menopause Conversations Start Around the Dinner Table
At the end of April, I flew to Singapore for a one-day menopause conference, Flash Forward, hosted by Spring of Life. The room was electric. About 200 of us leaned in as every panel discussion sparked a real movement. It wasn’t women venting. It felt like women rising, saying, “Let’s do something about it together.” I left buzzing, and more convicted than ever about the work I’m doing with Menopause Asia.
In Malaysia, we still have much to do, especially when it comes to open conversations. Toward the end of the day, the audience was asked: What’s your menopause wishlist?
One panellist, Dr. Chua Yang, a renowned OB/GYN in Singapore, said: “That we start talking to our daughters about menopause.”
That one stung me a little. I never had that conversation with my mother. She’s now living with advanced dementia, and I never will.
When they opened it up to the audience, I raised my hand.
“I don’t have daughters,” I said. “But I have two sons. And I believe it’s just as important to talk to them too.”
Because one day, they’ll be husbands. And their wives will go through this transition too. Knowing how to be present and supportive could change everything for them.
Why These Conversations Matter
Culturally, menopause is only just starting to be talked about if at all. At the conference, only two male spouses attended. Two. That says something.
When we don’t talk about it, we are isolated. And with more than 40 symptoms now linked to menopause, from anxiety to brain fog to depression, having people around us who understand what’s going on is essential.
The loss of sex hormones impacts nearly every system in our body. And yet, it’s still considered “too personal” to talk about openly. It shouldn’t be. Sex isn’t a bad word. Menopause isn’t shameful. It’s human. And it affects half the population.
Sometimes it takes someone close to us, partner, child, friend - to point out that we’re not okay. Not in judgement, but in love. So, we can get help. So, we feel heard. So, we feel seen.
The Power of a Supportive Household
A few weeks ago, I overheard my teenage son on the phone with his friend. His friend was ranting about his “crazy a$$ mom.”
And I heard my son respond,
“Bruh… your mum could be going through menopause.”
That’s my 17-year-old. And in this house, menopause is dinner-table conversation.
We talk about fun stuff, hard stuff, happy stuff, even the weird stuff. Often, I’d quiz them on menopause symptoms. Sometimes they joke about it: “Menopause… Men-on-pause.”
(I never thought it was funny, but hey, it breaks the tension. And it gets them engaged.)
They know what this means to me. And I know they’re listening.
So… how Do You Start the Conversation?
It doesn’t have to be formal. It just has to be honest. Keep it age-appropriate, especially with kids.
“Hey, I’m going through some changes called perimenopause. You might notice I’m a bit more tired, or emotional, or irritated sometimes. It’s not about you—I just need your support.”
Ask them to help out more. Teach them empathy.
With your spouse/partner - be clear about what support you need. When I finally realised I was in perimenopause, I had already cried through countless meltdowns, for reasons even I couldn’t explain. My husband didn’t try to fix it. He just sat with me. Coffee in hand. He held space.
“I don’t need fixing. I just need space. Patience. Kindness.” is what I repeatedly told him.
That’s what I needed. That’s what every woman deserves.
Your Home is Your First Safe Space
Start the conversation. Start small. But start.
You don’t have to tell them everything (my kids don’t need to know about my libido—or lack thereof). But opening that door sets the tone. It creates a home where support is normal. Where empathy grows.
And maybe, if we keep doing this, our kids and daughters will grow up already understanding what menopause is.
And maybe… the next generation of women won’t have to walk through it alone.
Joanne Ho is a certified menopause coach and functional hormone specialist, and the founder of Menopause Asia, a soon-to-launch digital telehealth platform supporting women in midlife.
Connect with her on LinkedIn https://www.linkedin.com/in/joannehosl/
