“If Menopause Had a Voice…”

It would say “Buckle up! I’m coming for you.”

My Mother’s Journey: The Silent Struggle

The only thing I knew about menopause growing up was how it transformed my mother. My mum was the heart of our family, the matriarch. She had a gentle soul and carried herself with quiet confidence. She loves hosting parties and truly cherished the company of others. But as menopause crept in, that light within her begin to fade.

I remember my mum turning to her diary more and more—jotting down appointments, reminding herself of tasks, and journaling her feelings. Her notes were simple yet revealing like ‘pick up milk’. Occasionally, there were deeper entries like, ‘feeling off today’ or ‘feeling more forgetful lately’. These were the early whispers of menopause.

Looking back now, I can feel the loneliness and confusion she must have experienced, even though I didn’t recognize it at the time. Slowly, she retreated from the world, and the inner joy that had defined her began to fade. 

Today, my mum resides in an aged care facility for dementia patients. She has lost her memory, her voice, and the essence of who she once was—a shadow of her former self.

Back then, none of us truly understood what was happening. And truthfully, we were too caught up in our own lives to notice or ask. How I wish I had asked—how she was feeling, what was happening. 

I wish I had listened. Because in time, I would come to feel the same.

What We Didn’t Know Then

Menopause wasn’t something we openly discussed back then. I thought it was simply about aging and losing fertility. I didn’t realize it touches every part of a woman’s life—her hormones, health, and sense of self. 

Here’s what I wish I had known: 

My mum’s age at menopause: Menopause often mirrors the timing of our mothers. Research confirms maternal history is a strong predictor of when it begins¹. Knowing this could have prepared me for my own journey. 

The symptoms: With over 34 symptoms—from hot flashes and mood swings to memory lapses and joint pain²—understanding them might have made me feel less “broken” and more aware. 

The lack of education: A staggering 90% of postmenopausal women say they were never taught about menopause in school, and more than 60% only began seeking information after experiencing symptoms³. Most women learn about menopause only after it begins, leaving many unprepared⁴. 

If only we had talked about it, I might have seen my mum’s struggle differently and been better equipped for my own.

The Cost of Silence

In my mother’s time, menopause was shrouded in mystery—no open discussions, no guidance, and no support. Fear kept women silent. The 2002 Women’s Health Initiative study fuelled panic over hormone therapy, leading millions to abandon treatment. Though later research debunked many fears, the damage was done. 

Would hormone therapy have brought back my mum’s spark? I’ll never know. But the silence and stigma surrounding menopause have cost generations of women their well-being. 

The Menopause Revolution 

Today, a menopause revolution is underway. With more research, advocacy, and resources, women are demanding better care and transparency. Here’s what I’ve learned: 

Knowledge is power: Learn your options and consult a menopause-savvy doctor about treatments. 

Community matters: Sharing stories helps women feel seen and supported. 

Advocacy saves lives: Push for better policies, healthcare, and research funding. 

My Response to Menopause 

One sleepless night, sitting on my living room floor in a fog of exhaustion and frustration, the forgetfulness, the irritability, the exhaustion—it all felt so painfully familiar. Then it hit me—this is what my mum must have felt. That realization has fuelled my resolve to break the silence and demand better for all of us. 

Tears streamed down my face as I realised the depth of what she must have endured, silently and alone. 

In that moment, I made a promise to myself: I wouldn’t suffer in silence. I would learn, seek support, and share my story so other women wouldn’t have to navigate this journey on their own.

And to Menopause, I Say:

“You may be knocking at my door, but I’m ready. I’m walking through with my head held high, armed with knowledge, my sass, and ready to kick your ass.”